Sometimes you eat...

Now that I find it necessary I can't find it.

Are we the ones who breath too deep?
The dimness never seems as bright, till that moment the sun hits the hill.

Can I get clean in this city?
Can I get free in this life?

I walked out right when you walked into to the sweet sound that is only mine.
I woke up right when you fell asleep, in the wake left by my feet beating against the ground.

Can I make good in this body?
Can I see clearly with this skin?

Now that I am pale and shallow it all presses down.

Human Kindness Is All Around Me

The air wet with long breaths of cold 

My feet take me up the canyon to my destination 

I think its raining, but I'm to hot to feel it

The sky looks different now, then it did in my 20's 

Somehow grayer, but all for the better

Why have I always preferred the breath of the window to yours?

I let go of the ties that keep me alone at night 

The air dry with long breaths of warmth 

My feet take me down to the valley to my destination

I think its raining, but I'm to frozen to feel it

Break...

The best performance on earth. Janis Joplin - Ball & Chain - Monterey Pop

Love

For a long time I couldn't define what my own personal love looked like.  It was hard for me to see myself as beautiful or desirable. I was constantly comparing myself to other women. At 33 I have just begun to appreciate, love, and define myself as beautiful. It took realizing that if I don't love myself how will anyone else. 

I was recently on vacation with my family, which is large, Italian and dominated by women. While lounging on the beach with my Mother and 3 Aunts I listened as all 4 of them warned me about how awful their bodies were. One by one they told me how their thighs were to big or that they were sorry about how their stomachs looked. I was saddened that they saw themselves this way, and immediately chimed in and made a rule of no negative body talk on the beach. I also made a point of telling each of them how I saw them, women who's bodies still looked healthy and beautiful. They politely said thank you and agreed to speak positively about themselves while on the beach. As the day went on I started to realize they didn't know how to do this. They either said nothing of themselves or would say things like "I love my legs but I just need to get some laser treatment for my cellulite" They couldn't compliment themselves without insulting themselves as well. This happen numerous time that day and it made me realize the importance of self love and teaching other women around me how to love themselves. 

That vacation I thought about all the things that add to a woman's insecurity and negative self image. I promised myself to stand up for my fellow woman and to come to her aid when I see her struggling to love herself. I realized my responsibility and have taken everyday to try and hold up my end of the deal.  

So in closing I implore you to find your love for yourself and share it. Stand up for your fellow sisters and lead them to their best self. We have to banned together and push our gender forward, we need to teach our daughters about the amazing beauty that being a woman is about. We are the vessel's of life and its time we started acting like it. 

LA I see your charm slowly taking hold
Glimpsing around the corners and winding through the canyon.

LA I see your bones slowly bowing inward
She feels the pull of old lovers and safety,  afraid to step foot in the new world.

LA I see your intimidation slowly grinding at the weak
I feel it trying to lay its head down and rest within my heart.

LA I see your charm slowly taking hold again
Glimpsing around the corners and winding down the hills.

Killa Kinda Day...

Finding your inner silver lining,  it's easier than it was yesterday.